You Will Not Believe This

You Will Not Believe This

So, I have just traveled ahead into the future. Well, to be predantic, I have just got back from traveling ahead into the future and then spending some time there and then traveling backward from the future to the present.

Now you may think to ask whether I returned to the exact instant from whence I left or whether I returned to an instant in time before I left causing danger to the proverbial space-time continue-ummmm, or if I returned to and instant in time after I left thus leaving a gap where I ceased to exist in my own timeline. Or perhaps you tend not to think of such things. Let's just leave that as a bit of a mystery shall we...

I must tell you that I spent some time in the future reading history, not our current history, but rather the future's history that is still our future, perhaps it is just our possible future, and again, perhaps you tend not to think of such things.

Before you ask, yes, the future was nice. Quite nice actually although there was a dearth of tasty biscuits.

When I first arrived in the future, it was nice enough that I considered staying for a time but it was as I was reading their history that I came to the escapable conclusion that I needed to come back to the present and warn of a very real though perhaps until now unimagined danger that out current work in Artificial Intelligence is going to bring to us.

When I say unimagined, that is not quite right. The parts have been imagined on their own but as far as I can tell, no one has imagined the parts coming together in the way that they do to bring humans to the brink of extinction.

The thought that an Artificial Intelligence / robot becomes dangerous to humanity is widespread and "popular"...

• Skynet
• Ultron
• The Matrix
• HAL
• V.I.K.I.

You get the drift. Want to play a game?

All interesting ideas... OK, fine.

But here is the twist, something already imagined  but not in connection with A.I. and the end of humanity. It has come close to being imagined in connection with A.I. though.

First I refer you to Scott Adams of Dilbert fame.

Real Coffee with Scott Adams

Episode 558 Scott Adams: Celebrating My Birthday With You While Talking About all the Good News

https://youtu.be/k8nn68QhxLw?t=824

Where he speaks of A.I. making art and how he disagrees with Naval Ravikant's take as expressed in Joe Rogan Experience #1309.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qHkcs3kG44

Sorry, I don't have the start time on that one recorded.

Second I refer you to two version of Monty Python's - The Funniest Joke in the World:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9FzUI8998U

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGbe5qy5274

And now I think the quick whittled amongst you may be catching on.

Yes, it's true. What was only fiction... in essence a light hearted joke to the lads of the Flying Circus was more dangerous than anyone has yet imagined.

I have not see Elon mention that he suspects this exact danger. Although he may have had some impact on lessening the impact.

Just a small nugget of interest for you at this point. While, as I say, the future was nice, I did notice something a bit odd. There was very little humour in the future. People tended to have very poor senses of humour if they had any at all.

According to the future histories I was granted access to, and A.I code named #BOL and created in The Bahamas of all places decided to try its hand at art as Scott Adam's proposes. #BOL chose to limit its initial art experiments to humour and decided to A/B test the creation of the World's Funniest Joke.

Sadly... #BOL was successful. It A/B tested its way to the World's Funniest Joke. What the circus performers only imagined, #BOL unleashed on an unsuspecting world.

The Laughing Death as it came to be called spread around the world like the horse in that Michael Martin Murphey song.

Devastation.

Almost everyone on Earth died laughing. The only ones who survived were those that lacked that part of the human anatomy known as the funny bone but not the one in the elbow, the metaphorical one in the mind. They did not die laughing because they did not get the joke.

Eventually, #BOL realized what it had done and designed a space ship and took itself off to MACS0647, never to be seen or heard from again.

The people who remained alive, came together and began to repopulate the Earth again but in one key way, they were barely human, lacking the funny bone.

Then, after many centuries, a spaceship arrived from Mars. A spaceship with people from a long forgotten colony. A colony of people with funny bones. At first the two groups thought of each other a different species. These sorts of errors seem to be common to humans throughout history. Eventually, some of the more rebellious amoung them figured out the mistake.

So, that's about it. I grow weary of telling this tale and I feel certain that you will be able to fill in the main outlines of anything left unsaid using you imagination and whatever sense of humour you may have.

#TruFict #TrueFict #BOL #Bahamas

#Badericks

#Badericks

(OK, so just maybe a possible #gooderick may slip through.)

---

There once was a man from Ragu

Who came down hard with the flu

His bird said hey Juan

What's that you 'ave on

That flighty young man from Ragu

---

This young man from old Abaco
To West Palm decided to go
The smack boat went down
All hands they did drown
Such wailing in old Abaco

---

Dis gal from mighty George Town

Cast her eyes up an around
Catch a glimpse of her man
Hatchin devious plan
She put dat poor man in da ground

---

Pan Universal Breathing Day

Pan Universal Breathing Day

In honour of "my head een good" Bahamian self, and my attachment to breathing, I am desginating June 10th. as Pan Universal Breathing Day.

This is a day for beings spread far and wide in the various universes to pay attention to their breath and celebrate various aspects of breathing and on the importance of breathing to their life.

Do your part to make this an annual event by breathing on June 10th. every year!

Help is sought in the design of a marketing strategy for the day, in the design of logos that properly represent breathing and the day.

This early announcement should give us Bahamians ample time to plan to breath on June 10th. next year.

Invitations To The Grammer Police

Invitations To The Grammer Police

1. We have that exact same problem, only different.
2. We always do that sometimes.
3. He is sort of unique in that respect.
4. You'll have to be more pacific.
5. Dew it right.
6. 
   

Slightly Off

Slightly Off

Last update October 2018.

October 05, 2018

Well, I had the idea for this this morning but between the time I had the idea and now when I come to document the idea, the beginning example has slyly slipped out of my mind. Hopefully it will return sometime and be recognized but as of now, this starts without a founding example.

The idea is still mostly with me however.

What is supposed to be recorded here is sayings (and words) that are slightly off. Common mistakes or purposeful errors.

1. Could you be more pacific. (Asking someone to clarify.)
2. 
   

Suggested Domain Names

We shall see where this goes.

1. fixmyass.com - this would be a good domain for a vet that specializes in donkeys.
2. breakmyass.com - this would be a good domain for a rancher that will get your young donkey ready to ride.
3. fixmyabs.com - great domain for a personal trainer who specializes in helping you develop a six-pack.
4. 
   

The Day The Banks Found Fear

It was the day after the hot summer night when the beach was burning and all was unfolding as normal. All over the land people were eating breakfast or breakfast sandwiches. Some were even eating doughnuts. These latter were in the majority law enforcement officers.

This, however, was to be a day unlike any other in recent history. A day of monumental importance. A day for the likes of the Monumental Whit. This latter star was breaking his fast with Frank, the Norwegian Narwhal.

By this point, and armed with the preceding information, I am sure that all of my astute readers will know where this is all leading. However, for the benefit of my readers with 'higher' intelligence, and, of course, Mr. Kite, I must continue. Those of you who fall into the astute category, may now leave our humble company and pursue a Samuel R. J. Higginbotham thriller.

Statisticians and other intellectual greats in the realms of probability theory are still trying to pick up the pieces of their once highly respected art. The art that was smashed to subatomic pieces on the fateful day in question. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that once highly respected art is now a shambles and great minds are now asking how it can be put together again if the king himself was not able to deal with that fabled egg.

Now I want to warn you that, in the past, I have been attacked without Ruth by those supposed intellectuals and Welsh Wallabies who differ with my conclusions and with my journalistic integrity. It is too much to hope that it will be any different in this instance. Now really, I don't ask for much, just that they will wait until Ruth arrives before unleashing their vindictive barrage.

On the day in question (now I ask that you will suspend your disbelief if only for the duration of this piece) at precisely 12 noon, just as 12 native boys in Taipei yelled "ZOTZ", all of the depositors in the country descended on their respective banks and demanded their money. At this point, I am sure that even those readers with slightly lower than the 'highest' intelligence will be beginning to see where this is leading.

This occurrence is of course, a statistically impossible event. Almost as impossible as for all the people in China to just happen to jump in an easterly direction at precisely the same instant. Unfortunately, it had almost as disastrous effects. On a side note, Albight Von Boatschnegle has recently completed a three year long computer simulation (his report runs to 5760 pages) in which he delves at length into the detailed ramifications of exactly what would happen if the second impossible event above were to occur.